Anaxios Television Network Announces Lenten Line-Up
March, 2008
Greetings to all our faithful viewers, and to catechumens!
As is our custom, Anaxios Television Network is replacing some of its usual programming during the Lenten and pre-Lenten periods.
Cooking with Cathy will be replaced by two shows. The Vibrant Vegan will feature lenten recipes that include substitutes such as soy milk, vegetable margarine and hydrologized vegetable protein. The show is hosted by Sunny (Sophronia) Hadzikrommydas, with guest appearances by Father Viktor Postnikoff. The Take-No-Prisoners Vegan, features all-organic recipes that use no substitutes, and is hosted by the ladies of Holy Martyrs of the New Calendar Yoke Orthodox Church in Yamandlentil, Oregon, with guest appearances by monks from St. John the Faster Monastery.
Knitting with Nitsa will be replaced by a series of specials, including Prayer Ropes with Patsy, reruns of the Orthodox Embroidery shows that featured Pascha-basket covers, and Sew Your Own Headcoverings, Lenten Edition with Philothei Capella-Hatton.
Worldwide Orthodox Choir Round-Up will be replaced with Romanos Romanov-Romanides's Byzantine Lenten Melodies for Everyone and Try to Sing Slavic Lenten Music on Pitch, presented by members of the Slavic Choir Association of Tchaikovsky Springs, Arizona.
Our evening family comedy time will be replaced by infomercials for brass polish, Persian rugs, and parish-management software.
Our mystery and adventure shows will be replaced the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete, filmed in its entirety last year in the Monastery of St. Myedlenny the Slow Singer.
Our special Great Week programming will include Egg-Dying for Dummies, Pascha-Making with Parasceva, Kulich-Baking with Kookie, Hrutka with Hrefna, and Tsoureki with Tsuzie. The Serbs were also working on a paschal food program, but their attention has been focused elsewhere. We'll run it when we get it.
As usual, Anaxios Television Network will run only Services for Shut-Ins during those hours when we think our viewers should be in church. If that doesn't match the schedule of your local parish, then it ought to. And what are you doing watching television during Great Lent, in the first place?
This report was filed by Onion Dome deuce reporter Marie Moffitt.
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