Tropar Mix-Up Interrupts Divine Liturgy
August, 2009
Takoma Park, Maryland -- Pandemonium nearly ensued at All Saints of Middle-Class America Orthodox Church (Rump Orthodox Church of America (RUMPO)) this past weekend, as choir director Matushka Joanna (the Baptist) Johnson (okay, well, former Baptist; she's Orthodox now) accidentally led the choir in singing the Tropar for the Leavetaking of the Forefeast (in the First Tone), rather than the Tropar for the Forefeast of the Leavetaking (also in the First Tone).
"Is outrage!" cried resident baba Olga (the Timid) Dvlzhki, before the second bar was sung. A hush fell over the temple as Matushka rustled through her loose-leaf binder looking for the proper tropar, and Father John Johnson leaned out of the altar and cleared his throat pointedly.
Soon the proper hymn was located, and the service proceeded without further hitch.
Later, over coffee in the parish hall, Matushka Joanna explained to our intrepid Onion Dome editor what had happened.
"The two troparia are very similar," she said. "The one begins, 'Thou art coming to an end, O beginning of the feast', and the other, 'Thou art coming to begin, O ending of the feast.' It's easy to get them mixed up. We probably shouldn't have them set in the same typeface and all, but that's how we got them from the parish up the road, whose originals we photocopied. Now will you please explain to me why you put a cup of coffee under my chair?"
Baba Olga was unavailable for comment, surrounded as she was by a congratulatory mob loudly commending her on her knowledge of the troparia, and her outspokenness. "Oh, it was as nothing," our intrepid editor heard her say over the noise of the admiring crowd. "I would to do it again, in the heartbeat!"
Father John's only comment was, "Well, babas will be babas."
International reaction to the incident was muted. "Is hardly outrage," said Father Vasiliy Vasileivich, spokesman for the Church Overseas of Russian Orthodox Christians (COROC) and parish priest of Sts. Boris and Gleb and Vladimir and Olga Russian Orthodox Church in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia. "Is this all you called me for?"
Dr Yeraslav Penguin, St John Chrysostom Professor of Historical Liturgics at St Toucan's Orthodox Seminary and Roadside Icon Shoppe, asked us to remind our readers that St Toucan's still has many copies of their award-winning "Giant Book of What to Sing When, 2006 Edition" available for sale on their website, and narrowly avoided suggesting that if Matushka Joanna had been paying closer attention to her Giant Book, this mistake might have been averted.
This report was originally filed by your intrepid Onion Dome editor in March, 2006.
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