Lost in Translation (Conversations between Orthodox kids and their non-Orthodox friends)
August, 2009
Ashlee: "Do you HAVE to say everything three times? I mean, don't you think
that's a little excessive? Wouldn't one Lord Have Mercy be enough?"
Ariadne:
"No...no...no..."
Buster: "So, um, are you glad you moved here?"
Basil: "Yeah, I love the new church. Now that we've switched calendars
my birthday doesn't fall in the middle of a fast!"
Kelly: "So, what's that Vespers thing you were talking about?"
Katya: "It's a church service preparing for Matins."
Kelly: "What's a Matins?"
Katya: "It's a service preparing for Liturgy!"
Kelly: "So what's Liturgy?!"
Katya: "It's the Sunday-morning service, with Communion."
Kelly: "Oh. What's this?"
Katya: "Vigil!"
Kelly: "Um. Katya, what's that mean?"
Katya: "...That it's long. Shh, the priest is talking."
Dimitri: "Dude...um...you're doing it wrong."
Donovan, pausing with two fingers touching his nose: "What?"
Dimitri: "The cross末sorry, it's just末forehead-belly button-shoulder-
shoulder, okay? No, not like that, that's backwards末dude, you're
doing it like the Catholics."
Donovan: "Forehead, belly button, what?"
Dimitri: "...Sure."
Marina: "So after Christmas末I mean, January 7th for you末"
Maddy: "Wait, what?"
Marina: "Well, you celebrate Christmas on the wrong day, but that's
all right."
Maddy: "Wait, what?"
Babushka: "Sasha! Introduce me to your friend!"
Scott: "Who's Sasha?"
Alex: "I am!"
Taylor: "So where'd you go for Sunday breakfast? We went to IHOP."
Thea: "Breakfast? On a Sunday? Were you sick or something?"
This report was filed by Onion Dome terce reporter Brigid
Strait and guest co-author Katie Boardman.
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